Tis the Year...

Merry Christmas!!

My life this year was quite the journey, from babysitting two precious boys for a great couple, to house sitting/dog sitting for a couple of families, to being a hair model, to helping students from different countries practice their English through conversation, to taking a class called Encountering the World of Islam at CABC, to catering for a local company, to dating and to visiting friends in both Virginia (in that trip I got to also visit North Carolina) and San Francisco, to just living life. I’ve had my ups and downs but all in all I see how God has been faithful and I’m thankful for that!

Whatever your year has looked like this past year, I hope that you are able to take time and enjoy your family and/or friends. I also hope that you are able to look back and see God's handiwork in your lives.

God is awesome and 2008 was great, life is fine, now on to 2009!

Love, April

Looking forward to...

Yes, it is that time of year again and the song in my head right now is a mixture of Charlie Brown's Christmas and Mercy Me's Christmas C.D....honestly. Let me put on the Mercy Me music right now..there.

I have been typing with a bandaged left middle finger. Better typing then using it for something else, right? I felt like a gimp at first but now I'm use to it. It will be coming off in a little bit though. You are probably wondering why I have it..well you know when that skin around your cuticle decides to peel from your fingers? Well there was an area that I decided to pick at and Viola! blood! Ouch..

Okay, so that is not the reason for this post...

I have a couple of things to look forward to, like staying at the Hotel del Corornado with my mum and sisters (remember Hillary?) tomorrow night through Saturday- that will be so much fun; I get to house sit/dog sit for a co-worker and his family starting Christmas Eve (I am so looking forward to that, though one of the dogs is hyperactive until she calms down..oh poor Gwen, short for Gwendolyn..and then there is Sparty, short for Spartacus); then there is Christmas with family (yipeee!); and then the President saw it fit to give us government workers the day after off (you go, Mr. President!).

My motto or saying for now is, “God is awesome and 2008 was great, my life is fine, now on to 2009!"

So I hope that you all have a great rest of your week and Christmas with your family!

Until next post...

Oh before I go, you know the post before about listing at least 5 things to be grateful for each day (things that happened on that day)..it's working. I know that there is no magic to getting yourself out of a slump but when you think about the things that you are blessed with, about what God did, it really opens your eyes and eventually makes your heart thankful and lighter. At first it may feel like an arm that has been in a cast for awhile and has atrophied and it's hard to use it at first. (And when it is your heart that has been deflated, one of your most important muscles..have mercy..) But as you start to use that muscle, you start to find your strength again. And thank You Lord for that!

Psalm 121: 1 I look up to the mountains—
does my help come from there?
2 My help comes from the Lord,
who made heaven and earth!
3 He will not let you stumble;
the one who watches over you will not slumber.
4 Indeed, he who watches over Israel
never slumbers or sleeps.
5 The Lord himself watches over you!
The Lord stands beside you as your protective shade.
6 The sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon at night.
7 The Lord keeps you from all harm
and watches over your life.
8 The Lord keeps watch over you as you come and go,
both now and forever.

It's been awhile...

It's been too long since I have written...but here I am! Though I haven't experienced the death of a relative but break ups are still hard nonetheless. The funny thing about pain though, I've come to know, is that I always come away learning something. Now, I may learn it slowly but I eventually learn it.

If I can be honest with you, when stuff like this happens I feel thrown out of wack like a bad back. I feel for a lot of instances that I've lost a sense of self, of who I am. I start to second guess who I am, I look back at the different memories, I let the "should ofs" or "what ifs" drag me down. I ask for forgiveness many times for the mistakes that I have made in the past; the hurt I have caused. I'm sorry for my disobedience. I wonder what it is that I'm suppose to do. I wonder how the other person is doing..I go between the hope of friendship again to wondering if that is possible..knowing that it is..but

Then slowly, the light starts to shine through. Through the words of a friend, through a hug, through a radio program, God Himself through His Word...wow, God? Really? You love me still, You still want to talk to me, You still have a plan for me? Really?

So here I am again...

Yesterday as I was walking to my car, I started to feel down again and then I thought I am going to list five things today that I am grateful for. As I started to recall what I could be grateful for today, my heart started to feel lighter and so did my mind. So I thought, that's what I am going to start doing...at the end of the day, I am going to list at least 5 things that I am grateful for today.

God is patient!

That's all for now...

Wait...

Thank you Hillary for posting this earlier in the year, when I really needed to hear this..but didn't heed..but I'll just rest now because God knows just what we need.

Wait- by Russell Kelfer

Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;
Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate . . .
And the Master so gently said, "Wait."

"Wait? you say wait?" my indignant reply.
"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By faith I have asked, and I'm claiming your
Word."

"My future and all to which I relate
Hangs in the balance, and you tell me to wait?
I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign,
Or even a 'no' to which I can resign."

"You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
And Lord I've been asking, and this is my cry:
I'm weary of asking! I need a reply.

"Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate,
As my Master replied again, "Wait."
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,
And grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting for what?"

He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with
mine . . .
and He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run."

"I could give all you seek and pleased you would
be.
You'd have what you want, but you wouldn't know
Me.You'd not know the depth of my love for each
saint.
You'd not know the power that I give to the
faint."

"You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair;
You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there.
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me
When darkness and silence are all you can see."

"You'd never experience the fullness of love
When the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.
You would know that I give, and I save, for a
start,
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My
heart."

"The glow of my comfort late into the night,
The faith that I give when you walk without sight.
The depth that's beyond getting just what you ask
From an infinite God who makes what you have last."

"You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.
Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,
But, oh, the loss, if you missed what I'm doing in you."

"So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see
That the greatest of gifts is to truly know me.
And though often My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still . . . Wait."

Looking forward..to what?!?

So this past Thanksgiving was a pretty good time..a little nerve wracking at first my dear Cameron but my extended family made him feel welcomed.



I kind of wish I was one of those bloggers that let's my readers know all that is going on but I think it's okay to be discreet at times.



On that note, I will be going to Billings, Montana to go visit Cameron and meet his family while I am there. Yipee! I really am looking forward to not only see Cameron and meet his family, but get a taste of Montana...

*********************************************************************************

So that's what I was starting to write on Tuesday..and wouldn't you know the system kept on messing up...for a reason I am sure...Cameron and I are no longer a dating couple. There is so much that I could write right now but for now I am a mixture of feelings and don't feel like saying a lot. So please forgive me if you feel like you are in the dark. I may write my thoughts down about this later. I know this too will pass...

Before the holidays...

I just got a text message from Cameron that his grandmother just passed away. I can only imagine what he is feeling right now.

He loved his grandmother. He would talk to her like every weekend to just say hi or catch her up on the new happenings of his life, like what colleges he's been accepted to or that he was dating a new girl. He just talked to her this past Sunday. He left service to talk to her for a little bit.

She sounded like an awesome grandmother. She just turned 92 not too long ago. She lived a long, good life. I would have liked to have met her.

I can't believe that she is gone. It's so surreal and it's the day just before Thanksgiving! In myself and I am inclined to ask, "Why?" I know that we all go sometime, but why today?

Just the other night Cameron was telling me how he felt like God was telling him to stay in touch with his grandparents. Call them often. And he was faithful in doing so. And I know that he is glad that he did.

Thank God for grandparents!

Gearing up for Thanksgiving...Poor Turkey...

Being sick..

Sometimes I think being sick is my body's way of telling me to slow down. I think I have been pretty good about that though. This weekend I did just that, slow down and chill out. I even took off yesterday because I was not feeling the greatest. I needed that rest and I still do. But I figured I should come into work today. My manager is not doing too great herself, poor thing. I told her to go home. I think she took a bottle of "Suck It Up" this morning. But we all know that when your body says lay down and rest, you need to do just that no matter how much of "Suck It Up" you take.

It was good to get in some rest yesterday. And after a bike ride to and from work (riding against headwinds) my dear boyfriend brought me some hearty chicken soup, crackers, orange juice, and *sigh* a bouquet of flowers. And of course, a hug or two.

After eating, I laid down for some not so good t.v. because I didn't feel like reading and settled for Prison Break. I took some NyQuil (yay for legal, help you sleep drugs) and I was out for the count!

I hope you all are doing your best to stay well. Have a great day!

Weekends are meant for...

When I think of weekends, I think of doing NOTHING at all. And it's not until I get sick, that I am made to do just that, NOTHING. Sleeping in sounds great to me; I have an excuse to sleep in and not feel guilty about it. When I mean nothing, I mean no errands, no catering, no work, no nothing. Sometimes I have wished to just stay in my cute little apartment and read or watch a movie. But when you live in San Diego and the day is beautiful like it is today, who can stay inside?

Growing up in my house there was a disciplined way of doing things. You woke up at a certain time and you went to bed at a certain time (dad's excuse for saving on electricity and also because he had to get up early to start his day). There really was no such thing as sleeping in, at least not that I remember, unless of course I was sick. (Disclaimer: I really do believe that teenagers need extra sleep. They are growing children. I don't have time to go on about the ins and outs of why they need it, they just do. So if your teen is going to bed at a reasonable time and they still need to sleep in, let them do it. ) On weekdays, I would get up like around 6 a.m. and on weekends around 7 a.m., and probably be out of my room by 8 a.m. Ahh, those were the days.

Then I moved out! I could wake up when I wanted to (within a reasonable time because I still had to go to work) and I could go to sleep when I wanted to (my first room mate broke me of the habit of going to sleep at a reasonable time--live a little, she said. And live I did! And paid for it) I met people who actually slept in on weekends until 10 a.m. I tried it and felt guilty. I found that sleeping in too long made my back hurt and after a certain time instead of having dreams, I would have daymares (opposite of nightmares I guess).

If you were to ask me if I was a night person or a morning person, I don't think I would really be able to tell you. I digress.

So here it is, the weekend...something that I have been looking forward to but I feel sick with head cold (I guess) and malaised (I don't know if I used that word right but I like it). So guess, what I am doing NOTHING! And I won't feel guilty about it. I've slept in and I plan to rest ALL day. Yay for weekends!

Here I am again

So here I am again...yes, again. I started my first blog on Hillary and Dan's computer. I started it there and ended it there because I was lacking, technology wise at my own apartment and  I couldn't continue. I mean, I could have kept up my blog at work (not really; could have lost my job) or I could have just showed up at Hillary and Dan's cute apartment at weird hours of the night (not really, I don't think our friendship would have lasted if I did that). So against my desires, I had to discontinue something that I started. *sigh*

So here I am again. Here at my darling boyfriend's apartment (as he [correct English] and his roommate play on X-BOX) on his computer. Let's see how far, I get this time.

I'm looking forward to the possibilities! Come with me...